I am new to FMLA as in my last job we were under 50 employees.  A few questions that I have:

As an employer, do we automatically put someone on FMLA?  Or, do we ask them to go on FMLA?  What if they refuse to be put on FMLA?

HELP! 

It is the employer's responsibility to notify the employee of the possibility of FMLA.  The employer should request documentation/medical certification.  The employee could "refuse" by not turning in the forms needed. And they would lose the protection of FMLA by doing so and could be terminated.

I would strongly suggest that you read through the following:http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

The DOL has an interactive section called elaws which is good to start with: http://www.dol.gov/elaws/fmla.htm

And I know reading regs is not fun, but I would then become very familiar with Part 825 : http://www.dol.gov/dol/allcfr/ESA/Title_29/Part_825/toc.htm

FMLA designation is not up to the employee, it's up to the employer, subject to the requirements of the statute and regs.  The employer has a right to a medical certification.  The employee has an obligation to obtain one requested by the company.

There's an excellent book called, magically, "Understanding the FMLA" which covers most things in considerable detail and everything to an adequate degree.  The DOL site is pretty good but it is largely not up to date in light of rulings and tends to err on the side of what's the biggest pain and the greatest expense for the Company.  It is, however, the first and fastest reference for how to stay out of trouble.